Awake

It's 2:49 in the morning on the East Coast.  And I'm up...writing...
Why?
Well my husband is snoring like a grenade and my oldest daughter has woken up.  She wants to join us in bed (not tonight daddy's snoring won't let anybody go to sleep).  So I've read books, changed a diaper, given milk.  We shall see if she stays in bed now...I'm watching the glow of the monitor (cross your fingers!).
Luckily the little is still asleep.  Although how she is sleeping through her daddy's snoring is explicable to me!
I'm also scouring the internet looking for a job for my husband. 
You see he was laid off after we had our baby and after he landed a great job working for the city.  So unfortunately this financial crisis hit our home as well.  And after much thought and "soul searching" we decided he should use the unemployment time wisely so he went to cooking school.  And now we look for an evening job in the food service world (unemployment will be over in a few short months).  Why an evening job because daycare or even a nanny in the great city of New York is incredibly expensive!  Did you know that some nursery schools for just a few hours a day will charge $20,000??  Yes so daycare or a nanny is sorry out of our price range at the moment.
And unfortunately my maternity leave is up soon and I have to go back to work.  Thinking of going back to work and leaving my girls puts me into a tailspin of anxiety - it closes up my throat and twists the knots in my belly even more.  So I try not to think about it - but it does keep me up at night (like tonight).  Uh oh...the beast is out of bed again.  We call her the beast lovingly - also because the terrible two's hit before your kid turns 2 and they SUCK!
I'm back - more milk and another story.
So I sit here awake...typing into the computer screen writing (although I don't have many followers) and watching a baby monitor.
Hmmm...silence coming from the bedroom - perhaps he changed positions and the snoring has stopped and maybe I can rest!
It's now 3:04 AM.
Good night or good morning